If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. How many times did you hear this while growing up? I can’t answer that, but I can tell you how grateful I am that this time I did.
There is a struggle going on in my work apartment. While we generally get along quite well, locking the door has become an “issue”. I don’t want to be locked in. Nik doesn’t want the place to be left unlocked. Yes, we have talked about it and I thought we had reached an understanding and found a workable solution. Obviously, I was wrong.
So it became a bit of a game, I suppose. He would lock the door…I would unlock it. He would lock it and put the key close to it… I would unlock it and leave they key in it. Then, all of a sudden, they key disappeared…
You know that I thought that Nik and I were on opposite sides. That he didn’t understand me and he didn’t include me in his thinking. I began working on my strategy to try to convince him how important fire safety is in order to “win”. I even went as far as to imagine my “How would you feel if you were the one who locked me in and I died in a fire” speech.
But thank goodness I kept my big mouth shut!
And thank goodness that Nik had the good sense to send me this note today: “Good morning. The spare key broke, it’s not missing because I’m spiteful. 🙂 Some kind of cosmic irony, I guess. I’m having 2 new ones made. As much as you are worried about fire, which I understand to an extent, I am worried about leaving the place open. Anyway, just wanted to inform you about the key. Take care.”
Thank you Nik for this wonderful reminder about how communication and acknowledgement can resolve just about any issue. People want to be heard and understood. With one quick, but INSIGHTFUL text he changed my whole attitude about the situation and about him. Now I can return my thoughts to much more positive and productive things!
In my response, I promised to be very aware that when I leave I will lock the door.
And I WILL.